“This is who I am!” he says serenely like a ray of sunset, one day when you caught him with the cat in the bag (or with the hand in the cookie jar). As they say in my country, if it suits you…very well; if it doesn’t suit you… well…another one mamma doesn’t bake. And you look at him stupidly, not understanding where is the one who yesterday whispered declarations of love in your ear and promised you that he wants to be better for you than he was for others. And you believed him looking at him with wide eyes in wonder that you had finally found him.
You burst into tears, you take a long look at him, and you wonder if you’ve been blind in one eye from the beginning and you placed qualities on him or somewhere along the way the individual changed his mind for various reasons. His right, of course. But why not say that? You changed your mind, you changed your mind, buddy, but grow a pair and say that, cause I believe I too had my eyes wide open when we shook hands and got on the road.
The tendency is to doubt yourself and go to the ophthalmologist so that next time you see from the beginning that “that’s who he is.” Stay calm and leave the diopters on the shelf in their place because your eyes are fine. You just came across the preschooler who missed out on the first lesson in kindergarten, the one in which you are told why it’s not nice to lie!
So, if the fellow wakes up one day with “This is who I am!” in his arms, and he doesn’t want to leave it at all, you can calmly tell him before kicking him out the door: “No, darling, that’s who you want to be!” because we humans are exactly who we want to be, and he just doesn’t want to be anymore who he bragged to be.
P.S. You can switch genders anytime!
