Thoughts

“This is who I am!” he says serenely like a ray of sunset, one day when you caught him with the cat in the bag (or with the hand in the cookie jar). As they say in my country, if it suits you…very well; if it doesn’t suit you… well…another one mamma doesn’t bake. And you look at him stupidly, not understanding where is the one who yesterday whispered declarations of love in your ear and promised you that he wants to be better for you than he was for others. And you believed him looking at him with wide eyes in wonder that you had finally found him.

I believe that every man has the right to do what he wants with his life: something good or shit with pears, as his head, will and desire leads him. And if his head says he has to fuck up his life, he has to be allowed to do it.

I believe that those good “halves” feel, see themselves as they are, and hear each other with their soul, without too many words. And they understand correctly what the other has to say. At least at first. When they’re careful. When they want to see, to hear, to feel. But after a while, they get used to each other and become comfortable. At least one of them, if not both. And comfort gets fatter, the soul shrinks, the halves get bigger, and the shapes don’t fit anymore.

We were raised poorly with the idea that valuable things are gained through hard work, that they are the ones we have to work for until our eyes go out of our heads, whence that true love is the one we have to go through fire and sword for. Well, absolutely not true: good things come easily. Obviously, if you can get this in your head.

Wherever you go, two out of three discussions are about halves. Cause that’s how we know: to live with halves. Measures. To pretend to live until the half appears. I expect one of these discussions to take shape one day. To turn my head on the street and see half-dissected people walking only with their left or right side, jumping on one leg, with parts of their organs hanging like in a stupid horror movie and trying to stick together here and there, where the organs will fit.

Did you spend too much time in tired relationships because you didn’t know how to put an end to it or because you were afraid to live alone? Have you kept in touch with people who meant something in your life at one point and didn’t know how to break the link so you would not offend them or just for old times’ sake?

It’s not life. Or it is, but a worse life than the one you could live. Nelson Mandela said that “… the courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. „

A test by British or less British researchers has shown how anticipation is enough to trigger and install fear.

One day, a few years ago, I was zapping, and I came across a gentleman named Deepak Chopra, who spoke well like that. He said that a desire is born in you necessarily together with the ability to fulfill it because otherwise, it would not be born.

Every time you judge another, I challenge you to do better than him. But not to do better than him by looking from outside, from your own shoes, but to live decades in that human’s shoes, to win and to lose everything he lost and won, to feel everything that human felt through his whole life in the infinity of the details inside of him and then to do better than he does at this moment.

But you are always waiting for tomorrow to come in order to begin your life, while life is happening to you today. The same way today is the result of everything you did and thought yesterday, tomorrow is the result of what you are doing today: most likely nothing, because you are waiting for tomorrow to come so you can begin.