After many years of being a kind of Yes Man – well, woman – and I embraced all the nonsense of the earth (some of which came out exceptionally and others did not go well at all, but not at all !!), a while ago I decided to listen better.
I didn’t turn into the little girl who took No in her arms. I remained open to everything, but I chose to say “No” instead of “I don’t know” and not to go in that direction when my head and my soul didn’t say together “Yes.” And since then, my life has become much easier.
When it’s “Yes,” you know it right away. When it’s “No,” the same. When it’s “I don’t know,” you just have to put your fear aside to see if “I don’t know” sticks or is just the fear trying to make you stupid.
From where I’m looking, “I don’t know” is just a poker game between brain and soul. And they’re both good: they’re good at bluffing. But they only bluff when they don’t have a good hand and try to convince the other one that they do. When it’s a good hand, they both know it from the first moment. They align themselves and shout “Yes” with all of the roars. All you have to do is keep your brain quiet until the fear disappears and put your ear to your soul.
When “You Don’t Know” is a conflict between logic and the inside voice and, like any conflict, it doesn’t go away until you reconcile left with right.
The hardest time of my life was when I didn’t know. I was walking confused through life, in a sea of “I don’t know,” turning decisions on all sides and trying to reconcile the goat, the cabbage, and the neighbor. Indecision exhausted me, and I had dark circles inside, like a child who refuses to go to bed on Christmas night, waiting for Santa. And Santa came.
I gave myself a present. One day, after auditing my whole being. I concluded that every time the answer was not a unitary “Yes,” yes, I lived experiences from which I learned, but I woke up in some situations, people, countries, where I wanted to run from straight to my mother’s arms, to stay in the position of the fetus until it passes, swearing at the day I convinced myself, with logical arguments, that it was the right decision.
At that time, it was not clear to me that logic is not always directly related to peace, except when it aligns with that inner voice, sometimes a little too shy, which you think that if you listen to it could send you in the wrong direction. But that voice should have the loudest volume ever, to cover all the crap you’re telling yourself. I’m not saying to just listen to her, but to tune her to logic.
“I don’t know” means “No” works from simple questions such as “Would you like some milk in your coffee?”, “Do you want to go to that movie tonight?” and can save you precious time, up to “Is he/she the one?” and it can save your life.
