They say there is a woman who never scolds her partner. But no one has met her, so she remains only an urban legend, just like the man who rides on a white horse and never forgets the toilet seat up.
The woman we all know is nagging her half. At least from time to time. The exact cause is unknown, but the British and not so British researchers have discovered a new theory that says she is nagging him out of misunderstood love and care. She, a kind of omniscient, he, apparently, only apparently, the fool of fools, since she has to educate him. Although he had survived properly until he came across her.
Anyway, to be clear, we’re not talking about the certifiable ones that are all over you all day long, from the moment you opened your eyes until you closed them again and even after. Those fall into a special category, and if you came across it, run, Forest, run! Or, stay, according to your preferences…But, as I said, we’re not going to talk about this category.
It’s about the average woman who took you (say out of love) and who (as researchers say) verbally slaps you every time you smoke, eat above the cholesterol limit, drive like a maniac, forget to take the kids from school, or some other small thing like this. Whether she says it to your face or more gentle or passive-aggressive, she still tells you… get used to it… is part of a pre-installed program that runs non-stop in the background of her brain, and even the most “evolved” ones can’t shut it down completely.
The moment you stop hearing the hum of this program, don’t be happy! I repeat, do NOT be happy! Stop whatever you’re doing at the moment and look around. Put your finger in your mouth, take it out, see which way the wind is blowing, put your ear on the ground and see where the danger comes from… neah, you’re not Winnetou, bro, and you’re getting tired for nothing… you’re fucked!
When the woman next to you doesn’t scold you no matter how bad you hit the fence, it means she doesn’t give a damn about you anymore, and she doesn’t care if you’re going to crack. I could even raise the stake and tell you to look for the file where she gathers evidence for divorce.
What… You’re saying I’m wrong? You say you’ve learned to put the toilet seat down, you’ve only done good things, and there’s no reason to be scolded? Bro, check it out: if she keeps suspiciously calm and peaceful and a white horse between your legs didn’t suddenly grow up… take my horse and go!
