Dead end, you said.
I go on ignoring the signs.
It’s hard to see the traffic signs
when you have your heart in the clouds,
and your head up your ass.
Luckily you hadn’t had.
I woke up with the wall in front of me.
I told you it’s a dead end, you said
and your eyes seemed to twinkle with joy
Are you sure?
Yes, I don’t see any way out;
and you got out without thinking twice.
It occurred to me to try to convince you;
To go in reverse.
But we both knew that this car
Has had the reverse gear broken for years.
I had blocked it especially and permanently
to move only forward.
I look at the wall,
I look at you,
and I have faith that this two-door sports car
It can tear down the wall;
Or maybe it’s just a hologram,
and all I have to do
is to go on
bravely.
I press the gas pedal to the floor, and I fly.
Straight into the wall. You stupid, it’s not a hologram!
I crumble into dust. I almost die…
The airbag saves me at the last second.
In a way, I would have preferred it wouldn’t have.
I collect the pieces of my bones
I pack them slowly
And I give you time. You look at me stupidly.
With calf eyes.
But a dead calf.
The good part of the impact
is that now I can climb
on the body of the car.
I’ll show you it’s not a dead end?
With the bones in the poke
I’m climbing the car
and then the wall.
From it’s top I see the sky
And the abyss.
And, somewhere, far away, a continuation of the world.
Without you.
I don’t want this world!
It’s not a dead end, I shout;
It’s something else.
I hold out my hand to you.
You can’t hear me.
For a long time now.
I see you hitting like a calf
the wall with your head.
Your wall.
And then you go back.
You didn’t break your reverse gear.
You coward!
Maybe it’s just a hologram.
I throw myself into the void.
I fall free. It’s not a hologram, you stupid!
In a way, it is! You smart!
If I survive,
One day I will write a poem about the wall.
